So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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