I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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