You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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