one two three fourrrrnication!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
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I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
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You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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