that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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