You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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