I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize