I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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