listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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