I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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