So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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