help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize