I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize