Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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