Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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