Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize