My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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