I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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