He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize