I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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