o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize