That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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