I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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