tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize