South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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