Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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