He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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