Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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