Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
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Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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