so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
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She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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