Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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