I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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