did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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