I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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