i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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