You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we made out on top of his cat.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize