So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize