How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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