great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize