Have you finally orgasmed yet?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
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please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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