how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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