to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Drake has all the answers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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