I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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