I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
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We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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