Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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