In the future we'll all be gay
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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