I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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