Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize