I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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