If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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